Lost thoughts: 20 and lost

Today I finished a formal assessment and submission two weeks early. I was left with an is that it, what do I do now contemplation. There was no instant satisfaction, no relief, no joy. In my head I see two emptier weeks ahead of me. I now need to fill them with something. I need more hobbies, more things. I can’t be happy with being left to do nothing. And why is that? What in me drives that feeling and sensation?

I currently feel about as fulfilled as a wet mop. Why being 20 and trying to find your feet and place and space is just fucking confusion. The eternal sense of belonging and not belonging and change and no change all in one. On the cusp of life.