Lost thoughts: being ok

I love the almost tangible shock in dads voice when I’ve spoken to him recently. I too am shocked it’s a shared emotion. I think it’s the fact I’m okay and that I’m happy. Not that I didn’t think I would be, but when I was on the verge of dropping out of uni and really hated if here and it was hard every day, the idea of being happy was the least of my worries. When I wake up I’m shocked that I’m enjoying the day. Like woah who is this girl. I think we’re both shocked I’m not in tears over a sandwich or the fact someone made a comment about something. I go through a lot less tissues these days.

One thing I can’t quite get my head round is that it costs me £9.63 per month to be happy. Contraception is free as babies are more expensive but I have to pay to be happy. I feel really lucky I can afford this and obviously this is hell of a lot cheaper compared to other countries as health care is. I feel lucky I can pay for it. If I’m in a position I’d like to help pay for someone else’s pills one day once a month, sharing is caring.

I should be less judged on issues. It’s not my problem they have not experience something and I may too have not experience that. I can articulate my feelings when asked and be honest. And do the best to mask it when not as I am emotional at the best of times.