Twenties: christmas is sparkly but scary

Age 21 and I find Christmas overwhelming. I’m not sure how, why or when this started but it’s probably common for a lot of people in different ways. Loneliness, loss, binge, purge, financial, warmth, family. There’s a lot of ways you can find it overwhelming.

Personally, I find the food a lot. I like simple meals without fuss and frills. Christmas = dining out. When you think Christmas you have to go all out. There’s a lot of the bigger is better and better is bigger mantra being banded around like tinsel in hobby craft. This is being really picky but I’m not the biggest fan of a roast dinner, I would rather have anything else. British food is not my favourite food so again not the ideal candidate for it. A spag bol or a smoked salmon salad is my idea of a good Christmas dinner. Something fun, something different. I don’t cope well with the fact it’s the same thing year in year out. Gluten and pastry are table favourites and it’s just a no from me. I’ll either be constipated or in pain.

My head has started to tot up numbers again which is not healthy but also I can’t help it. It’s a coping mechanism.

My social battery drains easily and I now don’t know what to say to older members of the family. I know you shouldn’t say that but conversations now seem to be more one sided. That translates to being politically incorrect. And I want to say something because I don’t like it, but equally I never think to say something because I’m not quick enough and of course it’s rude to chat back to grandparents who should know better.

Post festive season comes the weight loss and shed regime, with concentration shifting to who can resolve to move the most bulge. I don’t like the new year new me mantra because it never lasts. And quite frankly some of the diet culture ads are just toxic. I don’t subscribe and I don’t want to hear about it. Weight and other things are just what you should never comment on.

Sorry to channel the inner Scrooge, there’s alot to love about Christmas (lights, gifting to other people). But it’s also stress and I’m allowed to vent.